A Second of Mental Growth

I have been heartbroken.

Not by the infallible termination of the "pact" found in first love; or second, or third... Not by a loved one's dismissal from a cherishable life, nor one filled with turmoil or normalcy. And not by my gullible belief of the bastardies of a once trustworthy friend. While all or none of these scenarios may or may not have been experienced by me - I have not been heartbroken by any,

But by my coming to terms with a reality that has always existed.

I've always been told the parables of life, I've heeded the mantra of my days and been lectured about the downfall of my generation. This and that, Mary and Jane, in one ear where it marinated for a minute only to be unconsciously dismissed from the conscious part of me. This must have been what happened. Because all of a sudden the maybe's the why's and the how come's were all knocked into place. And if it weren't for the impediment of (I hate to say it) my young age and inexperience I would have known, although strongly against my nature, not to be so trusting of men. (I'll save the discussion of women.)

Its inexplainable really, much like the difficulty in being the best infant while still an infant, the best child while still a child, the best teen while still a teen and so on. There's no handbook for each stage of life. And while at any age you know you know - you don't know.

I am heartbroken because I have seen the validity in a reality that has always existed. And that reality has shocked me into an understanding that I never knew was there.